Real Talk

Welcome to 2011 where everybody’s the realest

Everyone who a midget, say they do it the biggest

Every part of ya business is everybody business

Got my name all in your mouth

I should have been a dentist

Yeah, everybody done did it

Everybody’s a critic

I recovered slightly from a $3,000 downswing, which started last Saturday. I woke up at 5 am, decided to play a bit, dropped $2k in 45 minutes, then would continue to run bad for the next 5 days. This is really nothing new, in no way am I bitching about any of this. Up $700 today, my mindset' been good. I might finally have a good grasp on what real discipline is.

I still think my biggest leaks are outside of the game..I had too many discussions lately about my spending habits. I remember clearly, the first thing I did after dropping $2k in 45 mins was log on to online banking and pay bills, and cash out a sum of spending money. January is not gonna be a good month, 3 days left and although I am optimistic, I definitely feel somewhat dissappointed in my poker results for the past 3 months.

That aside, I want to use this entry to talk about something that's been constantly on my mind. I strongly believe that who you are as a person is determined by those around you, ppl who are important at specific points in your life. While some might say I am no longer who I used to be, that I am cold or distant, but it's not true. All I want to do is keep it simple, filter out the useless chatter from useless people. I am tired of relationships, partnerships that go nowhere in the end, tired of weak minded people bailing out on me. Tired of negative degenerates spreading their weak shit onto me, trying hard to make me feel worthless like they feel on daily basis.

Tired of exposing phonies, seriously, at this time in my life I finally realize that it's better to just avoid them than waste my time on them. At the end of the day, no one wants to be hated. I WANT TO SHOW ALL OF MY HATERS LOVE!!! We're just not built the same, I do what I do because I am good at it, enjoy doing it. This is no way a masquerade, I am currently making a living off this with no other form of support financially or mentally. The is the purest form of hustle, transforming technique and skill directly into $. Don't get it mixed up man, don't tell me how good you are when you got rich daddy covering up for your ass. I am a pro, you just a pretend pro, telling me stories about crushing live games. Everything about you is phony, My #s are always open book, yours will forever be a mystery. FACT: most live players are life time losers, you might've done that 10 years ago, but now you's a fish, a dirty fish.

Shoutout to Robert Paape. Rob's 21, 1/2 the age as you peeps, and 2wice as real. In his own words, ya'll considered "LIFE FISH". He mentioned in his previous video blog that my confidence and discipline rubbed off on him, I meant to tell him that it's always been the same way for me too. At times he's a reflection of myself when i was his age, maybe only a bit smarter, and definitely more confident. Seeing him crush heads up only makes me realize all the time I wasted back then.

I hope I'm finally on the right track.......take better care of my money and ball it up this year.

PEACE

你操,或者不操
我就在床上
不骚不浪
劈开双腿  translation : YOUR FACE IS THE MONA LISA, YOUR ASS IS THE MASTERPIECE

PWND TWICE IN A DAY

CJ says he admire me for having guts for what I did, but I think I was just being an aggro fish. I think I confuse a lot of people from being passive/indecisive to super loose aggressive in an instant. this experience definitely helped and I am no longer a level 1 hero, death knight leveled up to 2!!

I been out of the game for too long, plus my low confidence didn't help. Guess this started after I went pro, I feel out of it no matter what I do, over analyzed things, took the wrong line completely. I never used to run things with people before making a decision, but lately I find myself being such a nit. Plenty of reassurance is needed from others before I do something, by the time I get to taking action I no longer remember the purpose...

Poker drifted from my priorities somewhere this month, I'm still putting in the right volume and playing fine imo. However, I find that my leaks exist outside of poker right now...I don't want to be a life fish like some of my friends, and time is ticking.

At least one thing is still certain...I ain't living off the strength of noone, controls my fate, I hold my weight.

Shout out to my bros for all the support I got, for listening to my bs.

Was trapped but still intuitive learn to switch routes in drought
My reality's placed on principalities so
Any casualties gracefully done carefully
The real attracted me re-exchange and bill
Mathematically calculating maintain and chill

hahaha lollol ths shit is funny....

Mike Matusow: go dyour so good
livb112: i know
Mike Matusow: u have worst hand every time and win
livb112: really every time?
Mike Matusow: remind me when u win a match with the best hand
livb112: u get all ur rake back and 35/hr and u still cant make money mike
Mike Matusow: ill mark it down
livb112: why dont u sell ur account to an online player again mike
Mike Matusow: really that why i got 5 million in my bank account
Mike Matusow: hows your bank account
Mike Matusow: ty for letting me know how im doing though
livb112: i dont know how ur doing
livb112: just how u do in online poker
livb112: funny that u grind 1k super turbos with 5 million in ur bank account

livb112: with 5 million in ur bank account
livb112: why dont we play 5ks
Mike Matusow: come to aria today we can play as high as u want
Mike Matusow: dont play high limit in video games
livb112: lol
Mike Matusow: ill be ther eat noon
Mike Matusow: wating for u
livb112: im not in vegas bud
Mike Matusow: for 5k sngs u should jump a flight you will be ther by then
Mike Matusow: ill even come at 2 to give u time
livb112: i have a theory about live poker mike
livb112: my theory is this
livb112: bascialyl everyone that is around that plays live poker
livb112: are the people who have run good
Mike Matusow: 5
Mike Matusow: 5
Dealer: Mike Matusow belegt den ersten Platz und gewinnt folgenden Preis: $2,000
Mike Matusow (Beobachter): u got unlucky ther

Mike Matusow: i used to like u then u became anpother %#&&y fking internt fk head
livb112: u used to like me?
livb112: why?
livb112: i dont know u
livb112: u dont know me
Mike Matusow: must been someone else on your acccoutn that i talked to on aim then
livb112: we spoke for 5 minutes and u asked me for money
Mike Matusow: i asked u for money lol
livb112: ya u did
Mike Matusow: dude u are dillusional
livb112: um no im not
livb112: i instantly bloccked u
livb112: i remember perfectly
Mike Matusow: just keep grinding enjoy yoru pathetic life dont talk to me anymore
livb112: mike do me a favor
livb112: google pluto from popeye
livb112: then go to image
livb112: if ur on the rail, this is a fun exercise
livb112: google pluto from popeye and go to image
Mike Matusow: caue im playing these for fun hes trying to survive off them
livb112: im trying to survive?
Mike Matusow: that iw pathetic
livb112: i used to like u mike
livb112: then u became a cyberbully
Mike Matusow: i muted him dont want npthing to do with him anymore

stay positive

2 days ago I almost lost it, my eyes turned bloodshot and I was snap rematching this horrible reg at the $100s on stars 2 tabling. He was very spew aggro and was eager to get any draws in, played like he was on meds. I was prepared take his roll or lose mine, because I knew he wouldn't stop rematching either.

20ish games later i was down about $1k but I came back to my senses and decided to quit. He won most of the flips, 4bet shoved flush draws n got there twice and basically played like a moron, e.g 4bet shove 55 3rd hand of game....etc. I haven't gotten this pissed in a long time and realized that even after 2 years of part/full-time poker I am still capable of acting degenerate.

I calmed myself, next day I woke up a bit earlier and saw him at lobby, insta sat him and opened up 2nd game, got insta sat and continued. 3 games later i was 2-1 but he won 2 big flips and A9>AQ'd. Gonna keep playing this guy and bust him.

It might be because of the weather lately, I'm getting mildly depressed...I was told to take Vitamin D. Keeping up with gym, scheduled to see trainer tomorrow...I keep reminding myself that going pro's not easy, and I'm gonna have to improve my mindset, attitude, if I want to do this for 2 years...Maintaining a fixed schedule when I can wake up whenever I want is difficult, but I'm gonna keep trying, fail to succeed....BOOM

O ya, another thing to note, I will start coaching a friend of mine who's had very little experience w/ poker. I handed him NL THEORY BY SKLANSKY today and will start teaching him heads up tomorrow, in return he's gonna cook for me and do my laundry. I gave up coaching this one guy last year because that dude exhibited everything I hate about poker players, had no talent at all and was ridiculously degenerate...I felt like it was a complete waste of time for both of us. Hope this time it'll turn out better..I'm also doing this to review my own game theory, hhs, and to help getting into routine by waking up early. Black card updated and I want to average 1500 ftps from now on for the 3xftp....easily achievable if I can wake up early and play more sessions.

I am the truth, on a whole nother lvl

Who am I besides homie that expose the phoney?

panda's spiral of degeneracy

panda's not sleeping, eating well recently. panda's sleep schedule is completely fk'd, 3 melatonins won't put panda to bed. panda's eating no vegies, only meat, panda's having trouble taking a shit, panda took zantac but it didn't help....

panda can't decide if he's happy or not, panda's up $3.5k this month from poker but it don't feel that way somehow. The profit # loses meaning when grinding becomes a continuous never ending cycle...this weather makes panda sad...

panda's trying to continue this journey without letting his ego get in the way but it's hard when these dudes r like bitches, laying on their backs, mouthing off on panda like they still in high school. panda thinks jealousy is a motherfucker.

it's ferocious when you broke and focused

Nah, I'm not broke but I maintained a "broke" mindset this month to help grinding. I zoned out all the temptations, kept up with gym 3 times a week. I basically focused on one thing, POKER. Profit-wise this is my biggest month of the year and yes it feels awesome to end on high note.

I played about 1200 games, met my volume target. Went through some really sick swings, broke even for about two weeks straight, overall ROI dropped from 10% to 7% at one point. I filtered out turbos, and my ROI for reg speeds is actually 11%. I ran terrible in $100s-$160s in a relatively small sample shown below:

Getting down my 3-4 tabling skillz, my game's improving I feel. Played a lot of regs this month, including a set of games against Robert which were certainly interesting...I'm sure we both learnt a lot from those. Feels like I've gained a deeper understanding of HUSNG VARIANCE this month, yes I am still bitching a lot and yes these swings are still painful as ever but I've learnt that there's definitely no way to escape, cheat it. In the past I wasn't sure if i was just unlucky because I played fewer games, but now the numbers are all working out when I'm grinding 1000 games/month. Masochistically, I might be even enjoying this process because everytime after one of these swings I feel I become emotionally stronger.

2011 will be a big year, I don't want to set a profit goal but definitely want to start making $10k/month soon, and definitely want to start playing $200-$300 when I get rolled for those. I've controlled my spending somewhat because it's simply easier to not spend that much when I'm not working...I don't feel the need to spoil myself buying stuff, getting massages all the time...

#14 on HUSNG HIGHEST LIMIT LEADERBOARD, #1 CANADIAN PLAYER LOL.....BOOOOOM

Current Heads Up SNG Leaderboard (Highest Limit) Dec 01 2010 ET -- Dec 31 2010 ET < Previous Next >
Rank	Player ID	All Countries   Argentina   Australia   Austria   Belarus   Brazil   Canada   Colombia   Denmark   Egypt   Estonia   Germany   Hungary   Italy   Lithuania   Maldives   Malta   Morocco   Netherlands   Norway   Panama   Poland   Portugal   Romania   Russia   Slovakia   Slovenia   Sweden   Switzerland   Thailand   Ukraine   United Kingdom   United States	Chips	Prize
1	mersenneary	United States	419.0	20 x fav buyin
2	kkenkk	Brazil	373.5	16 x fav buyin
3	tasasas	Russia	320.5	14 x fav buyin
4	Provokation	Germany	310.5	12 x fav buyin
5	Kierkegaard1	United Kingdom	310.0	11 x fav buyin
6	DoubleKpl	Poland	301.0	10 x fav buyin
7	SzNuR	Russia	299.5	9 x fav buyin
8	notgoingnewhere	United Kingdom	296.0	8 x fav buyin
9	Brav3H3art	United Kingdom	287.0	7 x fav buyin
10	tressizback	United States	272.0	6 x fav buyin
11	The Sweeper	United States	261.5	5 x fav buyin
12	Sargon38	United States	257.5	5 x fav buyin
13	goinfishn08	United States	253.5	5 x fav buyin
14	john521	Canada	246.5	5 x fav buyin

PROFIT:

 FT+STARS+CAKE+RB = $4821 (prolly closer to $7k cuz ROBBY took all the 4mans LOL)

FT HUSNG LEADERBOARD BONUS = $400

TOTAL : $5200

I STARTED OUT W/ 0 AND TURNED NOTHING INTO SOMETHING
EVEN IF U NEVER LIKED ME, U GOTTA BE PROUD OF ME
CUZ IF U LIKE ME NOW IMMA MAKE U LOVE ME

week 1 update

I woke up yesterday to the news of the new poker legislation...that depressed me a lot...I ended up thinking bout that shit the whole day and reading the forums.

This is all it takes to fuck it up for everyone, the greed of a few men. Americans are too good at being politicians, using whatever means for self interest, to satisfy the needs of  ppl who are already rich n powerful. I know I can easily add a third site to help with volume but I think what will end up happening for myself is fewer games/hr, fewer fish, less hourly rate, which means I have to start seriously grinding 5 hours a day...Which is fine, because lately I went back to my routine of getting up at 11 am, and sleeping at 3 am...I am putting in more sessions which each last 1-1.5 hour.

Profit this month so far is $2662 but is really closer to $3000 because of chops. I haven't played much so far in this 1st week, averaging about 3 hrs/day. My business w/ CJ is going real good...we're close to averaging 1 customer/day lol...I take care of receiving payments and he deals with their bullshit haha...Chinese customers=act like they own the shit out of you when you take their money...I.E. 30 yr old lady buys lingerie and continues bugging CJ about things like "hey do you think I would look good in this"?

Again, no profit goals this month, but definitely 1200 games by the 31st......FIRE

November

profit: $3896

Robert says
  i'm gonna lose it if u make 6k
gonna need more panties
john wang said (11:07 AM)
LOL

Played close to 1k games of heads up....Well, I guess here it is, my first official pro month of online poker. I made the biggest, stupidest mistake in the middle of the month setting a goal to make $7-$10k...at the time it seemed like everything was on my side, my confidence was peaking and I was crushing hard...I was up $6k around the 15th-16th and O MY SHIT I went on the biggest downswing of my career....I posted the EV graph in my previous entry, it was really really bad....It's really fked up how I lost basically all the $100s, $160, $200 but won the $50s and $80s. 80% of my opponents were -20%+ROI fishbowls....

I tried everything to turn it around, been going to the gym every weekday and working out for 30 minutes, I cleaned up my room, cleared my desk, held onto my beretta while grinding, CJ told me to wear my boxers inside out cuz he saw it in some chinese poker movie....I FKN TRIED EVERYTHING BASICALLY....$3500 downswing=no fun.

I'm gonna make a list right now of all the things I did wrong this month and hopefully improve on them for December:

- biggest mistake where I extended my loosing sessions and cut short the winning ones....this is career threatening and the biggest leak...I've always known this, this is what makes IVEY such a great player...it's just so hard to put into practice....I've been getting better but definitely need to improve on this.

- I once again set a stupid profit goal instead of volume...after I set the goal, I felt empty knowning I wasn't going to reach it and affected my sleep/mindset...

- I only reviewed once this entire month...where I watched the video Robert made, and it really helped a lot...I need to do this more and keep myself in check....it's easy to drift away from A gaming when I grind 40-50 games/day.

I did a lot of thigns right though....I am so fkn proud of myself of maintaining a 10%ROI 3-4 tabling...I never thought I'd be able to do this when I was struggling to move up to 3 tables. I cleared a lot of rake, made Iron man on FT, on my way to getting Black Card next month and got Gold VIP on STARS. What this means is that with the current volume I'm playing, I can easily clear $1.5k/month in bonuses/rakeback from both sites...

I gotta step it up next month, no more profit goals....maintain focus, build my roll up for January. SORRY ROB, KEEP THEM PANTIES ON FOR DECEMBER

frustration

I sometimes wish poker's like a sport, or even break dance, where I can take satisfaction after a practice session, or a game despite loosing because the sweat always remind me of the hard work I put in.

FULL TILT, PLEASE STOP RAPING ME

8 more days to go...

Profit so far this month is $4212.

I took shots at $160 4mans and $200, and ran like shit recently...on a semi downswing of about $1500 and counting in the past 4 days. I've been going to the gym every weekday for the past week which is good. I didn't do too great in terms of volume, played nowhere close to 50 games/day but I can honestly say I put decent quality in my games. I would say for the past 2 weeks, I've been finding out what routine/schedule is best for poker and so far I am going to bed at around 4-6 am everyday, waking up at 2-3pm and gym from 5:30-6:30. What I do between the time I wake up and the time I head to gym is completely random and basically a huge waste of fkn time...I sometimes grind for an hour, but mostly just browsing, talking to people.

Get home, dinner, and start grinding from 8pm. On average I think playing 3-4 hours/day which leaves one question.....wtf should I do for the remaining 20 hrs? Gym is definitely going good, but I need to find more things to do to get my mind off poker. I even tried signing up for utm classes but they fkn said I missed the deadline......bitches

I don't think I'll meet anywhere close to $10k this month but meh...it's hard because I went pro on the 11th officially so this month is not a "full month". Also, I am grinding 20/30s on stars with a 1k roll and getting raped which is no fun.

I am definitely optimistic, no turning back, the place that I'm from don't exist anymore...no regrets, no apologies...