I would start off by saying this: I continue to amaze and surprise myself. The months that led up to November were depressing but so what? I came back so strong, 2 years and counting I still grind hard and my mental stamina is still improving.
SECOND CUP CHAPTER
November was a very mediocre month for me, I remember the day FTP came back I lost 1k in almost 1 hour while my friend watched me play. I was overly ambitious then, jumped into 200s and played semi-scared. By end of December I made a decision that would change the course of my career thus far. CJ suggested that I grind at Starbucks/KFC when I was in Beijing. I thought the idea was meh, if anything it was slightly -EV cuz I wasn't sure about office ladies in skirts distracting me or what to do if someone gives me shit (strict gambling law)
I bought a cheap 17" laptop on boxing day ($400 after taxes LOL), received it and headed to the second cup a walk away from my house, I didn't even bring a mouse, used laptop mouse and 4 tabled 5 hours, made $800. I remembered it so clearly, I wasn't necessarily playing better and was fully aware of the upswing I experienced.
January I broke my old record, and if I make more than $800 tomorrow I will repeat the same result for February. I feel so focused, $$ on my mind, sipping on green tea and bluffing niggaz while babygurls stare at my screen and ask "ARE YOU THE PANDA"?
I want to keep this up, it's been 2 weeks straight since I had my last cigarette, I don't feel the need to take long breaks in between sessions anymore, just washroom breaks and a 5 minute breakdance video is good enough. January I drank everyday 3 weeks straight, rum, soju, beer...I thought it was helping but this past week I haven't had a single drink.
I'm once again proving to myself that I don't need these things, stress would always be there, how I deal with it is up to me but why ruin my health, my body?
I am making a full comeback, keeping in mind the mistakes I made these past 2 years. FAST 5 DAYS STRAIGHT TO MEDICATE, BUILD HUNGER, AND FOCUS ON THE DAYS AND TIMES THAT APPROACH US.
PANDA OUT
