I was doing some shopping yesterday when Tiago told me about the news. All he said was "did you go on fulltiltpoker.com"? and my heart stopped beating...I sometimes think to myself, this is too good to be true, playing online poker in the comfort of my room, not breaking a sweat and making more than the average person.
The more I read about it, the more I realized that as a Canadian I was probably not going to be affected much, can't imagine what's going through the heads of American pros right now. I was prepared for the worst also, I joked that I would have to start working at a gas station even.
To my fellow American grinders, I hope this is just a temporary setback and alternatives will soon be available. Don't know if it was my instincts but I cashed out a ton leading up to Black Friday (3k still held by my bank,cross fingers).
ROBBY, come to T.O and live with me LUV?
If we can only put our paper together and make a change
Destroying the real, one break at a time, re-arrange,
The way that we think, we killin' ourselves it's a shame,
We gotta wake up and realize... That we're all pawns in the game
My version of the horoscopes. I will start off with an intro, set a few things straight: I will not mention almost half of the horoscopes because I feel that either 1. I don't have enough knowledge about them. 2. I really don't feel they are even worth mentioning. 3. Continuing from 2, I do believe that the 12 horoscopes = not meant to be cut dry equal, meaning they don't all share the equal amount of pts like making a main character in an RPG. Some are downright superior, others are downright mediocre. Don't get offended, keep in mind this is all described through the POV of a Gemini (me).
1. Taurus
2. Gemini
That's me, and I will be brutally honest about people belonging to this sign. I have quite a few Gemini friends, I tend to share the sickest commonalities, inside jokes and can often laugh till I get ulcers talking to a Gemini. Doesn't really mean we're funny people, I find Geminis to have a lot of energy, how they use this energy though is usually a waste. We try to accomplish too many things, instead of focusing on one at a time, we can start 4 different homework assignments, start reading 5 books, 4 table HUSNGS, MSN, and talk on the phone, all at the same time.
Don't bother getting into an argument with Geminis, you'll feel like shit after either because of their relentless berating while proving a point, or they'll confuse the hell out of you bending and obscuring things along the way. Gs are Sadistic people, they genuinely believe that part of the enjoyment they get out of anything they do is make fun/ ridicule their target in some way. They do this casually, as if it's within their rights, within their twisted boundaries of what's right/wrong. That is not to say that Gemini people are assholes, Gs actually are very good at adapting to people, situations, sometimes to the point that in order to gain trust, loyalty, Gs will play their cards perfect, they'll say exactly what the person wants the hear at the exact moment, they can take on the role of a general or a soldier, often times switching back and forth with ease because their adaptation skills allow them to be good team players.
Geminis are very bipolar in the way that deep down, they're the most kind-hearted out of all the horoscopes. They have a tremendous sense of justice but rarely shows it. On the other hand, the impression they give others is nowhere near kind-heartedness, their sharp tongue, narcissism make people feel a sense of instability because others find it hard to know when the G is being playful or serious. Only the Gemini him/herself knows what he/she is thinking.
3. Cancer
The most precious sign IMO, if you have a Cancer in your life, treasure them. These people don't have too much to offer in terms of talents, skills. Instead, they're decent at everything. Not incredibly smart, but just smart enough to get the job done. Cancer people are caring to friends, family, provides a sense of support, stability, however Cancers are incredibly sensitive. While providing love and care to their friends/family, they often expect also a lot in return. When they don't get it they can get moody and confuse people.
Cancers get things done, they know what's important, when asked to do something, they never delay it. It is this reason that make them the ideal people to go to for favors.
4. Sagittarius
O my, as a Gemini, I have a fatal attraction to Sags. It's very easy for me to befriend Sags and I find there often exist a tremendous amount of attraction between the two. Sorry to my guy friends reading this if you feel this sounds really gay lol. Sags possess a very child-like personality, very carefree and even more restless than Geminis, which make them the ideal playmate for Gs. The attraction between the two exist not only on a physical level but also mental. Quick-witted, Sags tend to be well knowledge d in broad topics, not shy to offer their opinions at all times.
The problem with Sags is that they often get along too easily with everyone, the reason is because they don't want to piss anybody off and often acts timid, they would do anything to avoid confrontation. If you're rounding up people to help you in a fight, don't bother with these fkers...not because they don't care about you, they just hate confrontation!! Because of this, I don't feel Sags are very loyal. They tend to move on pretty quickly from one to the other. They're often the peacemakers, no matter how strong your relationship with the Sag is, they won't fully back you because they feel that's disturbing the balance.
5. Aquarius
Aquarius is basically a bot, they are empty to begin with but whatever ideas that get fed into their heads they stubbornly cling to and becomes their principles. It is all up to what these ideas are to determine what the Aquarius person really is. Because of this, it's a huge hit or miss. People who are easy to brainwash and become extremists are often Aquarius IMHO.
On the plus side, Aquarius's strong principles make them become like a open book. Brutal honesty, straight-cutting often, they will give it to you straight, no bullshit attached. Reminds me of the Chinese Triads still using the traditions that's been passed on for generations, stubbornly clinging to it. Aq people are incredibly rebellious and carefree, never confined by rules, Aq will trace these rules to their principles and if they don't fit, they rebel.
Geminis are supposed to be very compatible with Aquarius, and for a good reason...The honesty and open book feel is refreshing and important for a Gemini, Aquarius reminds Gemini of what they truly desire in life. Gs offer a great sense of respect for Aquarius' honesty.
6. Leo
The hardest one for me to write about, Leos are stubborn and often will mercilessly fight for something that is of no importance. They tend to go super-saiyan and forget the reason, they'll do it just out of annoyance. If they use it right, their passion and pride can go long ways and they can surpass light years ahead of their competitors.
Leos will never ask for your opinion and if you suggest something to them they'll tell you to fk off. They have a hard time accepting that someone else's idea could be better for them. Because of this, Leo tend to become great artists at what they do, the end product of their work usually shows a lot of their personality imprinted.
I'm listening to one of my fav songs by Game right now - Pour it Out...Got out of bed just now, couldn't fall asleep again. CJ said I always have the most messed up experiences, each more messed up, more degen than the last one. I'm gonna be brutally honest again lol, March was an interesting month, fresh from comming back from visiting Rob in Austin. My mindset was fresh, cashed out $5k, and probably went on the biggest spending spree in my life. (degen as fk)
I started the month out strong, kept a routine going, gymed 3 times a day, played solid volume but eventually got burnt out...I started procrastinating, for some reason, my old harmful hobbies came back. I started smoking more, back to smoking 1/2 pack a day, started going for massages very very often. I started telling myself that maybe after all these years of recklessness I am finally paying the toll. The sides of my head are stiff as fk, my back pain came back all of a sudden and every night it's a coin toss between good or bad sleep.
I would continue this till about the end of the month when I self-excluded myself for the 2nd time in my poker career for 3 days(5k downswing). Around the same period, Ian started criticizing me more than ever since the time I've known him. "Too much spending" "degen" came out of his mouth more often. I paid no attention and kept doing what I was doing. Then one night, something he said to me finally smacked me in the face and opened my eyes to a lot of things that happened and their reasons. I was complaining to him on the phone about why I was so unlucky(non-poker related incident) and it was karma at work. Then I paused and asked him if he noticed that I changed in the past 3 months.
Ian : "I'm gonna be honest with you ok"?
me: "Yes please".
Ian : "You've been treating me like shit recently".
hly fk, at first my reaction was of shock, maybe reacted even violently. I asked why? He gave me examples, basically saying that I'm acting spoiled and selfish lol...I reflected a bit and saw that he had a point. Especially with the selfish part. What I find is I'm really not giving a shit to things that don't concern me. I tried to argue that I make my decisions rationally, which does not always come out in a good way for most people. And when they feed their emotions into it I get frustrated and angry, which is stupid if i think about it because by trying to b like the rational person that I am most of the time, in the end I get pissed and let my own emotions out.
C.J said I am getting less and less patient about everything. I am doing certain things to save myself time and effort, only looking at the end result, ignoring the joys of the process. At this point, I guess I should mention something...I had a huge fall out with a dear friend of mine back in February. I consider her to be always a very special person in my life but I impulsively decided at the time that the most +EV thing to do with our friendship, relationship or whatever the fk it is is to end it once and for all. I don't regret what I did at all, but what that did to me was turned me even colder than I was.
If you're reading this Yen, I am sorry but then again you said you totally understood my decision. I always thought of things from my perspective, trying to gain an edge for myself rather than thinking about the whole thing in yours. It didn't matter in the end, but in CJ's words I always expect too much from those who I value the most. We're probably both very selfish individuals who are scar'd, damaged to the point that all we are to each other is a voice of support and care, because I understand you too well and vice versa. I admit I felt hate towards you for the first time that day, but the more I thought of it the more it was like hating myself. You really are my twin like you said.
The truth is, I haven't said or done anything to anyone out of sincerity for the longest time. At first I argued with this girl I spoke to recently that I just give the impression to people that I'm insincere because of my body language and the way I giggle when I am meaning to express sincerity. To which she replied "but if that is the general impression people have of you, it just means you're insincere" I felt a chill by those words, I felt like my soul was missing.
I'm keeping up with gym, put $2k in my savings already from last month' profit. Made prop bet with Ian that I will add another $3k by end of this month. I genuinely want to pursue a healthier life, mindset. I'd like to think that the part of me that everyone liked is still there, hidden deep inside me.
