We all feed off each other, positively or negatively, doesn't matter what the distance is...CJ's gonna be alright, for the past month all I could do was call and check up on him from time to time, try to take some pressure off him. He's tough, handling everything to protect his mother. I can seriously picture everything he's going through. Now everything's turning for the better, we're feeling positive, looking towards Beijing, the future...
Poker's going back on track, my cashflow's messed though, having only cashed out 400 in the past month lol...I guess there's a give and a take, the challenge I set up with Ian is working, I haven't been spewing money at least. $3400 still processing...I'm not too worried anymore, up $4400 so far this month. CJ said the real money will be made after I go to BJ...I know this is true as well, I can feel it now as the date gets closer. A brand new environment, more ways, reasons for me to work hard and make dough...life will be good. I will never be contempt with what I have.
My dad would ask me if it's possible for me to get a legit job in Beijing, work at a big pharmaceutical company using my family connections. I said no, I will not work another job for someone else, Medical Pharmacy will be the last workplace for me. When asked if I would keep playing poker I said yes, he goes "你。。上了贼船“ (you're fallen and can't turn back or some shit) LOL.
I was bragging to someone recently that I get to wake up whenever I want and work whenever I want but the truth is I am getting more and more bored by the day...Plus the stress built inside me from few months ago is taking a toll on me, I decided to smoke up a few days in a row...1 blunt 1st day, didn't get high at all, 2 on the 2nd and on the 3rd I got baby girl over and smoked a couple real big ones...I realize that when I get really drunk or high, unlike most people who get loud, I stay dead silent and immobile. I felt lazy while my friend jus acted gayer than his usual gay.
The kush did nothing for me, I don't think I will do it for a while actually. In all seriousness I am currently considering to volunteer at some bud-hist temples in toronto. This idea came from reading Hokie Greg's blog where he mentioned that for a while he felt empty with just grinding and felt the need to contribute to society in some ways rather than just taking money from people on the internet. I'm feeling the same way recently...disconnected and selfish. I gotta do something more meaningful to balance my mind.
after the kush....lol
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